Common Wedding Etiquette

Everyone wants to do the right thing, and sometimes situations arise where you just aren’t sure what the right thing to do is. Respect for others and common courtesy are the virtues to focus on when making decisions that may potentially hurt someone or make someone feel uncomfortable or left out. Here are some basics on how to approach things.

Family Etiquette - Including Divorced Parents

If the parents of the bride and groom have not met prior to your engagement, now is the time that they should meet. Traditionally, the groom’s family will call and initiate a meeting with the bride’s family. If they don’t, it is not inappropriate for the bride’s family to set up the meeting. Who contacts who doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that there is some kind of exchange between the two sets of parents because from here on in their lives will be intertwined. Start off on the right foot. If it’s impossible for them to meet, for example, if one lives out of state or far away, a phone call or letter will suffice. This exchange of pleasantries will be the start of a positive and on-going relationship.

If one set of parents is divorced, the married parents should contact both of the other parents and introduce themselves. If both sets of parents are divorced, each should make an effort to contact each of the other parents. If the ball isn’t rolling, the bride and groom can step in and make necessary introductions to avoid any potentially awkward moments the parents may be anticipating. Try to get everyone to introduce themselves to each other. It is the right thing to do. You are all in this together regardless of the situations being what they may. This is about you now and your wedding. Make sure that this remains the focus of everyone’s concerns.

Generally, the bride and the bride’s parents do most of the planning. But do make an effort to keep the groom’s parents involved. Fill them in on all the planning, and ask them for any input they may have. They will appreciate it. If they offer to help, find a way that they can. If they want to come along for the ride, let them know that there are already seats with their names on ‘em.

Etiquette Tips For Wedding Invitations

Invitation Etiquette
Although inviting single guests with a date can be a kind gesture, it is not required and is not always necessary. If a couple is not married but are living together, it is appropriate to invite both of them on the same invitation with both of their names listed individually. If you are inviting a single guest who has been seeing someone long term, it would be appropriate to invite both of them on a single invitation. If you know the other parties name, do include it on the inner envelope of the invitation.

If a single guest is dating but has no serious interest in anyone in particular, you do not have to extend the option of him/her inviting a guest. You have to use a little discretion here. For example, you may offer relatives the option to bring guests, but not offer that option to friends or work associates. If you invite someone who you haven’t seen in a long time, and they call you to tell you that they are living with someone, and ask you if they could please bring them, you should probably oblige.

Each circumstance has to be taken individually. Say you invited an uncle who lost his wife several years ago and you didn’t know that he has met someone new. If he calls, you should probably extend the courtesy of him bringing his new partner. If your neighbor calls and said he wants to bring someone he met last night, I would probably reply with a negative. Think in terms of what the right thing is to do. Be reasonable and fair. And keep in mind how your decision will impact the total number of guests you are trying to limit yourself to. That will also help.

In some cases, you may not be sure about whether or not to invite long distance friends or relatives. You figure that if you fail to invite them they might be insulted, but on the other hand, you know they probably won’t come and you don’t want them to think that you’re just looking for a gift. You can not control how they will think and feel, so when in doubt invite them. Leave it up for them to decide. You extended the invitation. How they choose to reply is up to them.